The topic in this month is about the “self-acceptance” that I experienced in the form of “relationship”
Well, I would like to start with a very simple but important question,
How many persons that you can truly be yourself with?
As the society today seems to ignore this issue.
It becomes a norm when seeing people wearing mask to each other.
Out there, we can feel the politeness, see smiles, have some laughs and positive words during the conversation.
Everything seems fine with the shiny lightly world.
Ironically, there are more and more people that get depressed under their smiley faces (:(
Why can’t we be ourselves?
I looked back,
and found the answer in my childhood when I wanted to become a friend with the person I admired.
In order to keep the good relationship, the words ‘no’ had never come from my mouth.
I was willing to be inferior and became a follower.
And a lot of time, I compared myself with others.
No matter how old I am,
when the concept was stuck in my unconscious mind,
the same awkward situation kept repeated itself.
By doing that, trying to follow others for the sake of good relationship,
it dragged my happiness and self-confidence away.
I lost myself.
I did not accept who I truly was.
I did not feel gracious in what I was doing.
I did not love myself at all.
And if I let this go on, I knew one day,
I would get depressed so easily.
That day, it was the time I decided to let go of people.
I chose to be myself while accepted the difference of others.
I realised, the good relationship doesn’t need the leader or follower.
Instead, the true relationship grows from the openness and being our true-selves to each other.
We don’t need the mask,
The disagreement can occur, and we can fully discuss over the topic.
We can also share the moment of thoughts and real cry or laugh.
According to Maslow Hierarchy Theory,
self-esteem is the third stage before we get to the top,”self-actualization”.
People try to reshape themselves to fit in the society just for the social’s acceptance.
As the result, when they seek social-acceptance rather than self-acceptance,
self-image is what people start to focus (i.e., reputation, appearance, social-status).
What happened then is the self-forced for being as what other expect.
In this case, I disagree with Maslow’s Theory,
Self-actualization could occur before the stage of self-esteem.
When we accept our true-selves,
we would be happy in what we have, what we do, or who we are.
We don’t have to try so hard for getting people to love us but the sincerity will show itself.
The happiness then is the natural power to attract other people.
Openness will replace the judgement.
And finally, the freedom and wisdom will grow spontaneously within the relationship.
Olive & The 2th